An optimization problem

You are interviewed for an arbitrary job, which happens to do a background check. What criminal record maximizes your chance of being hired?

"None" is a valid criminal record, but is unlikely to be the optimal answer.

Inspired by a true story.


  1. I'd like to buy a vowel.

  2. If I claim that I was caught for cracking into the NSA (after 20 yrs of a successful cracking career), I can think of only a very few companies who wouldnt want me in their ranks. (the bracketed portion being the most important one). Still let me think of better alternatives.